Rebuilding Parent/Teen Relationships

The overarching aim of my practice is to help parents and teens repair and restore their relationships.  As a parent myself, one of my most important life goals is to raise my kids in such a way that we're likely to have robust relationships when they enter adulthood.  All too often, damage done in the teenage years can hinder or preclude such relationships.  And all too often, that damage stems from the "homework wars" or affiliated academic anxieties and power struggles.  I'm here to help your family navigate those crucial years before the kids leave home for college or career.  My mission is to remove obstacles to genuine connection and engineer creative compromises that lend your relationships new life.

How do I do it?  

What I offer are conversations with parents and/or teens, for about an hour at a time, with whatever frequency your family thinks best.  Some of these conversations can be exclusively with parents; some can be one-on-one with kids.  Often we'll want to come together as a group to chart a course forward.  But I can keep confidences on both sides of the relationship, consistent with ensuring everyone's comfort and safety.  Often I'll work with one party to articulate how best to address an idea to the other party.  But one of my chief advantages is the simple fact that I am not part of your family, and can offer my own outside opinions without any of the baggage that's inevitably accumulated in your relationship to date.

Why does it work?

I call the practice "teen whispering" because it's a cute name.  But the truth is, my process is much more symmetric than that: I'll be doing plenty of parent whispering too.  The model works because teenagers can quickly sense that I'm coming at these conflicts from a "youth rights" perspective.  I hold the radical belief that children are, well, people.  And that the best way for us grownups to help them thrive is to respect their autonomy and capacity for self-determination.  That can sound scary to parents who are used to trying to "make sure" their kids are living up to their full potential, taking advantage of every opportunity, and leaving as many doors open as possible for their future selves.  But as you've no doubt started to realize, these efforts are often counterproductive; not to mention corrosive to your relationships with your kids.  I'm going to invite you to bracket the instinct to control and ensure, if only for the course of our work together, so you can really start to listen to the person your child is becoming.  And I'll be coaching them to offer you the same kind of openness, in the service of sparking positive feedback loops to propel you toward mutual recognition.

What's next? 

Just give me a call or text me at (310) 367-5397 to schedule that initial conversation.  Or send me an email at alexi.burgess@gmail.com.  I can also put you in touch with parents I've worked with before, who can share their perspectives on the process and report on their outcomes.  And if we do decide to work together, I can liase with therapists, psychiatrists, school counselors, teachers, administrators, and/or social workers to get up to speed on your family's needs and offer complimentary, comprehensive support.  In any case, looking forward to chatting, and very much hope I can be of some help.

Don't take my word for it...

"Alexi is incredible.  He was able to reach our son and develop a meaningful mentorship that went far beyond just goal setting.  Our son is neurodivergent and has a hard time with focus and concentration, but Alexi found a way to keep him engaged and excited about learning and life.  Alexi's unique talent for guiding our teen to self-empowered critical thinking, problem solving, and creative expression is truly astounding."  Kay, Burbank

"These days, I hear the term 'holding space' thrown around a lot, but never have I seen it so clearly, so effectively in action as I do in Alexi Burgess.  He seems to have achieved the delicate balance between caring and detachment that can truly allow a teen to come into their own, in their own time.  My child was unable to attend high school for several months due to anxiety and depression.  Alexi recommended gradual "baby steps" to help them start attending Alcove, to which they were significantly resistant.  This is not a revolutionary technique; in fact, it is one my child had attempted before in other situations and subsequently rejected as "useless".  Somehow, with Alexi at the helm, his suggestion was accepted, implemented, and it finally succeeded, thanks largely to the open, radically nonjudgmental, patient and sympathetic presence that is Alexi Burgess.  If you truly want to see someone create and then hold, space for your child's best self to be realized, I highly recommend Alexi."  Jenna, Highland Park